It didn’t take someone long to figure out that, within 5 generations, one in every 100 Americans would be a Duggar.

Bite me.

Is anyone else creeped out by the not-so-vague Orwellian overtones of the Elf on the Shelf that’s always watching you? All hail Big Brother!

Because, really, who doesn’t love the idea of launching hedgehogs into space?

Barack, Paper, Scissors. Go ahead. You know you want to.

Noun. The quality or state of an event being both coincidental and contradictory in a humorous or poignant and extremely improbable way.

Like this.

Give it a try: [ name of beer ] + [ juice brand ] = [ brand name ].

Bet you didn’t come up with this.

To quote, because I. Cannot. Make. This. Stuff. Up.:

Enjoy a Chelada and experience the unique mixture Bud Light® or Budweiser® with the flavor of Clamato. Have some fun and customize it to make it your own by adding your favorite ingredient…wherever, whenever!

If by “wherever, whenever!” it is actually meant like nowhere and never, then I’m ok with “Chelada”. But seriously, this has to be the single most disgusting beer idea since that beer energy drink thing. I mean, really, what the hell were the guys over at R&D thinking when they hatched this one?

Who knows, but in the meantime, I’ll be trying to think up a name for my Guinness and carrot juice combo.